Adventures in Improvising

As a mommy I have learned many, MANY things about myself.  Some of these have been character faults while others have been much prouder moments.  The other day I had one of these proud...yet not-so-proud, moments.
We have recently purchased a minivan.  It's awesome...there's just no other way around it.  One of the features that I love about my mini is the way I can walk to the back and change a dirty diaper without getting cold or wet or showing my kids private parts to the rest of the parking lot. 
Well, the other day Graham was playing in the van while I sat up front and finished a phone conversation.  Just before telling my friend goodbye I realized that he had gone to the backback (as we call it) and pooped.  Immediately I knew I was not equipped to handle the situation...I had no diapers!  Luckily I was at the diaper capital of the world...Walmart.  After scouring through the van I found one partially wet wipe.  (Not sure what it had been used for prior...but it was about to get dirty again) 
After changing his dirty diaper I proceeded to put on his clothes without a diaper...to which my little boy responded with a hearty laugh (he apparantly likes to go commando).
After I gathered everything together we ventured out into our one cold day of the year...it was 12 degrees that morning...BRRRRR!  Graham responded with a gasp and his hands went straight between his legs.  At this point he began to realize diapers do many other things!  We dashed inside and caught our breath.  Immediately I began scanning the area looking for the baby aisle.  I knew my time was limited so we quickly made our way to the diaper aisle.  After grabbing the first pack I could get my hands on we bee-lined it to the bathroom.  As soon as we reached it I saw the sign screaming at me "OUT OF ORDER!" 
Wonderful! 
What am I supposed to do now?
It was only 9am on Monday morning and Walmart was very slow.  My knee-jerk improvising skills kicked in at this point and I knew I was about to have a naked kid on a random aisle in Walmart...but I didn't care.  I had to get my commando lovin' boy in a diaper quick before his chocolate milk beat me to his britches. 
I started walking up and down the aisles scoping out which one would be the most inconspicuous aisle.  Which one had the least amount of security cameras pointing in that direction.  And which one a fellow mother would least likely travel down to judge me. 
And then I found it!
The toolbox aisle! 
Who buys a toolbox on a Monday morning at 9am? 
I knew I was safe.
Since my little man is super smart I knew I would have to explain what Mommy was about to do to him in the middle of Walmart. 
I told him the bathroom was broken and I would have to change him right here in the store.
He responded with a big grin and started pulling on his pants like, "get these off of me...I'm a nudist in the making!" 
After I stripped him down I threw the diaper on him as quick as I could.  It was the worst diapering job I have ever seen.  But I didn't care.  My kid was covered!!! 
When it was over I realized that I did a pretty good job of improvising on the spot.  Am I proud that I got my kid naked in the middle of Walmart? 
No.
But I am proud that I could figure out what to do in that situation.  It gave me one more ounce of confidence that I needed to take on the soon arriving adventure of my new little guy. 
Who knows...he could be a nudist too!

Let the Anticipation Begin!!!

I realized today that it has been two months since my last blog post...that's just sad.

Do I think that nothing has happened that is note worthy? 
Is finding out that number 3 is a boy not worth writing about?
Do I think that diaper-less Wal-Mart trips are not worth talking about?
Is synchronized poo-ing worthless to mention?
How about getting attacked by laundry detergent?
Or losing your two year old...at your own house?
What about Christmas and our Christmas trip?
Ok...so I have a lot to talk about...and as soon as I'm not completely exhausted at the end of the day from teaching a 5 year old, potty training a 2 year old, and growing an 18-week gestationalite...I'll write about it.
Until then...I'll let the suspense kill ya!  =)

The Trinity...from a 5 year old's point of view

I love to carpool!!!  (I know that doesn't fit with my title...but it will make sense later)

One of the things I love about carpooling, besides the savings on gas, is the conversations that take place in the backseat between a 6 year old boy and my 5 year old Lilly (or Lillian as she is preferring these days.)

We carpool with my bud Annie and her kids.  On Monday's and Friday's I drive us down to school.  There are always interesting conversations that take place; like the fact that Reid wants to marry Lilly but she always shoots him down with the comment, "Reid only God knows who I am going to marry...and it's not you!"  I keep telling her this playing hard-to-get is just making him want to marry her more.  But the conversation on Monday took the cake for hysterical.

The setup:
As we were driving we were listening to Christmas music.  This made Reid think about his favorite music group.

The dialog:
Reid:  "I like the band Switchfoot because they sing about God."
Lilly:  "I believe in God"
Reid:  "Me too"
Lilly:  "I believe in God and Jesus too!"
Reid:  "They are the same person"
Lilly:  "Well I believe in God and Jesus...and SANTA CLAUSE!" 
---insert a swerve in the driving because I was stifling a laugh---
Reid:  "I don't believe in Santa Clause"
Lilly:  "WHAT!!!!  Well then, you are not getting any presents this year"
Reid:  "Yes I am...he always brings me presents"
Lilly:  "Not if you don't believe in him!"
Reid:  "Well God doesn't want us believing in Him and in Santa Clause"
Lilly:  "Yes He does!!  We need to believe in all 3!"
Reid:  "But God and Jesus are the same!"
Lilly:  "Well if you don't believe in Santa you are not getting any presents"
Reid:  "Yes I am"
Lilly:  "Reid...I am done arguing with you.  I'm looking out my window now"

Conclusion:
I felt like I should interrupt...but their little minds were really trying to figure it all out and it was so cute! 
Lilly has no idea what the Trinity is, but I like her take on it.

A Sinus Infected Thought

So I'm sick...again...SHEESH!!!!  This has been a very difficult two months.  From my strep throat to Lillys and now mine trying to make a comeback.  It's very aggravating.  Instead of my throat feeling like a meat grinder this time; my head feels like two washcloths have been shoved up my nostrils.  Ok...enough with the descriptions...I feel like poop.  That sums it up.

So, as I was lying awake ALL night last night I had a lot of time to think.  I don't think many of my thoughts were normal because I was laughing at them this morning.

Especially this one:

I really think wedding vows should be elaborated upon.  I know that people write their own vows and elaborate on them some...
But I think it should be taken even farther!
You know how amazing weddings can be.  The bride is stunning.  The groom is in awe half the night at his glowing wife.  The cake is awesome...etc...
But when it gets to the part where the preacher says, "For better, for worse.  In sickness and in health..."  That is where an exaggeration should come into play.
For example: 
When Tim and I got married if my preacher had said, "Tim...do you realize that you will have to pick tics off of unflattering body parts, and she will run out of toilet paper and holler for you to bring her a roll.  You do realize those are some of the 'for worse' parts right?" 
"And Tim, you do realize she looks like a hag when she is sick?  And you will have to hold her hair when she is puking because she's a wimp.  That's what the 'in sickness' part means Tim...are you sure?"

I have to wonder if he would've run screaming down the aisle to get away from me. 
I think I would.

Maybe not as many divorces would happen if the preacher elaborated on the vows.

And that is what I thought about last night. 

I'm so glad Tim has stuck with me during some of my worst moments. 

Markers, Slugs, and a Loose Tooth...OH MY!!!

Today was one of those days for the record books...or blog.
It was a great day...just crazy, funny and exciting all at once!

--It started off with a green marker.-- 
Graham has learned to sneak up the stairs without me knowing it.  I know I should have a baby gate at the bottom, but it's not that big of a deal.  He is almost two and has pretty much mastered the art of climbing.  So as I was completing the dishes this morning I heard a very faint, "mommy" off in the distance.  I knew that meant he was in his room with the door closed...uh oh.
I quickly dashed up the stairs and into his room to find him standing there with a green marker...opened!!!  As I looked around the room I saw his art work everywhere.  He drew on the walls, his toys, and of course himself.  Now I have never actually said, "Do not color on the walls"  So I didn't feel the need to discipline only to show him what he was allowed to draw on.  I took him to the other room and got out a piece of paper and colored on it and said, "See buddy, this is what you color on" to which he looked incredibly disappointed.  I understood, I mean I think coloring on a wall is more fun than paper, but what can I say...those are the rules.  We then proceeded to scrub his arms and face to get the marker off and then we both got a wet cloth and wiped down his room.  Thankfully it was washable (big props to the folks who invented that!).  So that started off my morning with a good cleaning and a big smile.
Then something else happened...

--It looked like a slug.--
As the morning moved on I proceeded with my routine of cleaning and playing.  During one of my laundry runs I walked by the kitchen counter and noticed a slug on the counter.  It was a big, gigantic black slug!!!  I stood there in horror.  What was I to do?  All of a sudden the slug jumped.  I had no idea slugs could jump.  But this one jumped!  And when it jumped I noticed this slug had fins.  Hmmm...that's not right.  As I examined it more closely I realized it was our family fish Rapunzel!!!  She had leapt out of her bowl and was laying lifeless on the counter. 
Now was the proper time to panic! 
After a quick MacGyver move, including a washcloth and a sippy-cup, I succeeded in transporting her back into the bowl.  This was accompanied with lots of screams and jumps...I don't like squishy things! 
To wrap it all up...

--It's Loose!!!!--
Lilly had a dentist appointment this afternoon.  When her cleaning was over she came running into the waiting room screaming, "I have a loose tooth!!!"  I cannot believe it!  My little girl is big enough to lose a tooth!  I guess the toothfairy will be paying a visit to the Holland house in the next few weeks or months.  SO EXCITING!!!! 

Now that the day is coming to a close I'm flat out exhausted.  It was one of those days that I look back on and think I'm so glad I'm a mommy and that I get to experience all of the crazy things that go on in my house.

Brother/Sister Lingo

Graham is reaching the age where he understands absolutely everything we say, but cannot quite communicate what he wants to say back.  However, he and his sister can enjoy some very interesting conversations.

For example:
The other day in the car Lilly was thirsty.  Graham had a sippy cup of juice and Lilly asked him for a sip to which he adamantly said "NO! MINE!"  She did not give up so easily.  She asked several times before I finally intervened.  I said, "Graham why don't you let Lilly have a sip.  She is very thirsty.  It would be so nice to share."  To which he responded, "NO!"  This made Lilly very unhappy.  So she said to Graham, "GRAHAM!!!  IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME!!!!   IT'S ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME TOO!!!!"  We almost drove off the road laughing...but this made since to Graham...and he proceeded to hand the cup over to his sister.

Then tonight after dinner another funny brother/sister conversation occurred.
A game of roll-the-duct-tape-across-the-floor was underway.  (Who needs toys when you have duct tape!)  They were having a great time but then the 2-year old nature took over.  Graham decided he no longer wanted to roll the tape.  It was more fun to hold onto and say "MINE!"  (Gotta love that word!)  Lilly tried several times to start the game back up, but it was much more fun for him to say "MINE!"  So Lilly tried the rejected approach.  She walked away very sad and slumped over.  This immediately got his attention and he ran to her rescue with duct-tape outstretched. 
Lilly perked up immediately and said "Graham, are you going to share?"
Graham said "Ya"
Lilly said "Do you promise to share?"
Graham said, "Ya"
Lilly said, "Are you positive?"
Graham said, "Ya!"
Lilly said, "Are you negative?"
Graham said, "Ya!"
Lilly ran hollering at me, "Graham said he's negative!!!!  He won't share!!!"
To which he was very confused.

I absolutely love these conversations they are beginning to have.  It makes my day so interesting.

A Halloween Remembrance

To say that Halloween was a complete bust this year is an understatement...it royally stunk.  The whole week leading up to Halloween I had the worst case of strep throat I have had since childhood.  This caused me to miss all of Lilly's festivities.  Then on the actual Halloween Lilly came down with strep and had to stay in and pass out candy to all of her friends.  She had the best attitude about it, but it was still so sad.

So...in an effort to not feel so bad about the whole thing...here are some awesome pictures of Halloween in years' past.

Lilly's First Halloween---8 weeks old

           Oh yes we did dress her up as a lobster!                      And this is how she felt about it!

Lilly's Second Halloween---14 months old

She was some sort of pink cat....I think?

Lilly's Third Halloween---2 years old

My happy little flower.

Not a fan of pumpkin guts.

Lilly's Fourth Halloween----3 Years old

A lovely version of Cinderella...her favorite princess.


And Introducing...BABY GRAHAM!!!
His first Halloween-9 months and Lilly's 5th--4 years

Picking out the perfect pumpkin at 9 months old.

Yea...pretty sure he tasted the pumpkin guts.

And ended up naked because he covered himself in them...lots of fun!!!

 My little monkey man!

Lilly was very quick to correct anyone who thought she was a pretty bumble bee.  She would say, "I am a PRINCESS BUMBLEBEE thank you."  

Lilly's sixth Halloween and Graham's second.

5 and 21 months

 Even though we were not able to Trick or Treat the kids still dressed up for Lilly's Fall Festival at school. They were so cute. 

My two super hero's!!!