Saturday, January 28, 2012

Adventures in Improvising

As a mommy I have learned many, MANY things about myself.  Some of these have been character faults while others have been much prouder moments.  The other day I had one of these proud...yet not-so-proud, moments.
We have recently purchased a minivan.  It's awesome...there's just no other way around it.  One of the features that I love about my mini is the way I can walk to the back and change a dirty diaper without getting cold or wet or showing my kids private parts to the rest of the parking lot. 
Well, the other day Graham was playing in the van while I sat up front and finished a phone conversation.  Just before telling my friend goodbye I realized that he had gone to the backback (as we call it) and pooped.  Immediately I knew I was not equipped to handle the situation...I had no diapers!  Luckily I was at the diaper capital of the world...Walmart.  After scouring through the van I found one partially wet wipe.  (Not sure what it had been used for prior...but it was about to get dirty again) 
After changing his dirty diaper I proceeded to put on his clothes without a which my little boy responded with a hearty laugh (he apparantly likes to go commando).
After I gathered everything together we ventured out into our one cold day of the was 12 degrees that morning...BRRRRR!  Graham responded with a gasp and his hands went straight between his legs.  At this point he began to realize diapers do many other things!  We dashed inside and caught our breath.  Immediately I began scanning the area looking for the baby aisle.  I knew my time was limited so we quickly made our way to the diaper aisle.  After grabbing the first pack I could get my hands on we bee-lined it to the bathroom.  As soon as we reached it I saw the sign screaming at me "OUT OF ORDER!" 
What am I supposed to do now?
It was only 9am on Monday morning and Walmart was very slow.  My knee-jerk improvising skills kicked in at this point and I knew I was about to have a naked kid on a random aisle in Walmart...but I didn't care.  I had to get my commando lovin' boy in a diaper quick before his chocolate milk beat me to his britches. 
I started walking up and down the aisles scoping out which one would be the most inconspicuous aisle.  Which one had the least amount of security cameras pointing in that direction.  And which one a fellow mother would least likely travel down to judge me. 
And then I found it!
The toolbox aisle! 
Who buys a toolbox on a Monday morning at 9am? 
I knew I was safe.
Since my little man is super smart I knew I would have to explain what Mommy was about to do to him in the middle of Walmart. 
I told him the bathroom was broken and I would have to change him right here in the store.
He responded with a big grin and started pulling on his pants like, "get these off of me...I'm a nudist in the making!" 
After I stripped him down I threw the diaper on him as quick as I could.  It was the worst diapering job I have ever seen.  But I didn't care.  My kid was covered!!! 
When it was over I realized that I did a pretty good job of improvising on the spot.  Am I proud that I got my kid naked in the middle of Walmart? 
But I am proud that I could figure out what to do in that situation.  It gave me one more ounce of confidence that I needed to take on the soon arriving adventure of my new little guy. 
Who knows...he could be a nudist too!

1 comment:

  1. That is hilarious!! I can totally picture the panic frenzy :)