Sunday, May 20, 2012

Dora wears house shoes

I have a pair of unlucky house shoes.
I never thought I would have anything "unlucky" but I do. 
I have decided they are only unlucky if I let them stay on my feet to leave my house...and this is how it all went down...

Last week was my week to drive.  We carpool with a good friend and we switch off each week.  When it is my week to drive I drag my big 'ole belly out out of bed and somehow manage to get both kids fed and dressed and in the car.  I usually forget someone...and that is myself.  My wardrobe in the carpool line consists of pj pants, xxl falcons t-shirt, a light jacket and my beloved house shoes.  My hair is never done and my beautiful daughter likes to point out that I look like Dora in the morning...sigh...she does speak the truth.  If only I could learn Spanish...
Last Monday I threw us in the van and flew out the door because we were running late.  I was once again sporting my super hot carpool get-up equipped with my oh-so-old house shoes.  About halfway there my gas light came on.  This is usually not a problem because there is always a gas station to be found...not on this trek of Henry county!  I made it to school and dropped the kids off and started heading towards home.  I knew the only gas station was still another 13 or so miles away so I started looking through my purse to make sure I had my phone.  Of course it was missing!  At this point I started sweating just a little, so I took off my light jacket.  Immediately the worst-case scenarios start running through my head:

"If I run out of gas I will have to walk!  Wait...I'm in my pajamas!  And I only have on house shoes!"
I glance at myself in the mirror:
"Oh geesh...I LOOK LIKE DORA!!!  And I haven't brushed my teeth!  How am I going to talk to someone and say I'm out of gas!"
Then I hear Graham talking:
"Oh crap!!!!  I will be carrying a 2 year old down the road trying to get help!"
Then I feel the baby kick:
"I am going to look like a crazy lady!!!!!  They are going to call Defax on me!!!"
(And that is exactly how the conversation went in my head)

During this intense moment in my head I realized I was also praying.  I was praying that I would make it to the gas station.  It was reminisce of when I used to ride roller coasters and would pray that if God would let me live through this roller coaster I would never do it again.  I was begging God to let me make it to the gas station and I would never let my tank get that low again.
Thankfully I made it.  I pulled up to the gas station and got my house shoes...and pumped the gas.  I quickly climbed into the van while it pumped, because I looked like a deranged Dora, and watched as my van had more gas pumped into it than it has ever had in its lifetime!  I only have a 17.5 gallon tank (according to the manual) but I put 18.4 gallons in it...oh geesh that was close.
Once it finished pumping I went to open the door...but it wouldn't open. 
I hit the unlock button only to set off the alarm!
I scrambled to turn it off..but it would not work!  For a good 3.7 minutes my horn beeped and beeped and beeped.  And yes, every single pump was taken so all the lovely Kroger patrons could watch the psycho Dora-look-alike figure out how to turn the alarm off.
Finally it turned off and I climbed into the van to head home.
Needless to say...I was exhausted once I got home.

So I decided to do it all over again the next day!!!!

Again, I was wearing my oh-so-chic costume and headed off to school.  Tuesdays through Thursdays I have 4 children in my car.  There have definitely been some interesting moments with all 4 kiddos in the car, but on this day I was just trying to get us all there quickly so I could return home to my beloved shower that was waiting on me.  In the carpool line I was doing what I always do...multitasking:
-Tell the kids to unbuckle
-Grab book bags, lunchboxes, folders, show-and-tell-items
-Make sure everyone is still dressed properly
-Hand Graham his milk
-Turn down the Imagination Movers CD
-Tell kids to stop arguing
-Oh yea, and drive (this was the part I messed up on)

As I was awaiting my turn in the carpool line, and managing the lives of 4 little ones, my foot slipped off the brakes. 
I was turned around when all of a sudden I hit the suv in front of me!!  Thankfully it was just a light "love" tap.  But it was hard enough to throw 2 unsuspecting kids into the floor.  I did a quick assessment of the kids and realized all was well (since they were cracking up and all) and then hopped out of the car...ONCE AGAIN IN MY PJ'S!!!
The lady glanced at her bumper and said, "don't worry about it honey...I saw you handling all those kids...I would probably do the same thing." 
I noticed that she really didn't make much eye contact with's probably because I look like Dora.

I managed to drop all 3 kids off at school with every limb in-tact and head for home. 

Since then I have learned my lesson:
I now wear real shoes to school! 
If there are other lessons to learn...well...I haven't figured them out yet.

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